Boulder

You were daddy’s co-pilot and my baby. You’ve been Rocksie’s hero since the day you met and when daddy passed away, you became my caretaker, protector and love of my life. You didn’t just light up a room, you owned it.

When dry eye began taking your sight, you dragged around a version of your favorite toy, nearly bigger than you, just to keep playing tug/fetch as much as you always loved to. The diabetes diagnosis broke my heart but you turned getting shots into a game, each time easing my mind with a tail wagging, “I’ll be fine Mommy”. Hearing the words - lung cancer… Panic set in, uncontrollable sobbing began. Once again your tail wagged, you began kissing it better and you leaned in for a hug. You didn’t understand but you knew Mommy needed you… somehow you always knew.

You’re my strong, brave, happy, good boy. I’ll miss your excitement when someone laughs or a doorbell rings. I’ll miss your handsome smile and your kisses to make it better when you play a little too rough. It’ll be hard not seeing you watch sunsets in your special spot on the back patio. I’ll miss you rearranging pillows on the couch and blankets on the bed till they’re perfect just for you. I’ll miss your nudges letting me know I’m not done petting you, you hitting me with the chicken so I know it’s play time and having to tell you not to poke the shiny balls on the Christmas tree each year. I’ll miss you somehow magically hogging a king size bed and feeling you perched next to me during car rides. Most of all, I’ll miss snuggling with you each morning, every night and in between.

Not long ago I could smell you, feel your fur and hear you breathing… now I can’t breathe. You’ve always been my little Lovebug, bringing calmness and comfort when needed most. Returning that gift to you by making the decision to say good bye, as you took your last breath in my arms, was the most painfully difficult thing I’ve ever faced. Thank you for knowing how to care for me with kisses and cuddles when I needed them most and for sharing your life with us. Coming home to you was always my favorite part of the day. I hope I was as good a mommy as you deserved.

--Kim